You know you're Italian when...

Compiled for your ethnic stereotyping enjoyment, here are several lists of “you know you’re Italian when” jokes.

• You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
• You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.
• Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
• You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.
• You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
• You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
• You netted more than $5,000 on your First Communion.
• You fight over whether it's "sauce" or "gravy."
• Your mom's meatballs are the best.
• You've called someone a "mamaluke."
• Your grandfather had a fig tree.
• And you understand "bada bing"
• Christmas Eve . . . only fish.
• You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
• You know how to pronounce "manicotti," "tagliatelle" and "mozzarella."
• Your mozzarella is from Buffalo milk
• You go to Nonna's 110 pounds and come out 120!
• You eat Sunday lunch at 2:00
• You have a gold chain, cross or horn
• You have a stupid nickname
• You love nutella...anytime
• You love Versace, Gucci, Prada, Armani just cause they're all Italian
• Guys have to respect their women...or else...
• For all you guys...mommy is numero uno!
• You have a cross over your bed
• You attend 5 weddings, 5 engagements, 5 baptisms, 5 communions and 5 confirmations every year!
• You eat gelato when it's three degrees!
• You got teased at school cause of your smelly salami and mortadella paninis!
• At Sunday lunch at Nonnas at least 30 people attend!
• There are at least 2 or 3 fridges in your house
• Your house is full of bombineris!
• At Nonnas Theres always a prosciutto and/or salami hanging in the garage
• There are pictures of La Madonna everywhere
• Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monte Carlo.
• Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.
• You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.
• Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.
• At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.
• All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.
• If someone in your family grows beyond 5'6", it is presumed his mother had an affair.
• There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
• You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
• At some point in your life, you were a D.J.
• 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.
• You build your house with 3 materials: brick, brick and wrought iron.
• You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School.
• Clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you.
• It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.
• Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, "He shoulda kept his big yap shut.
• If you have more aunts than you can count out on 2 hands.
• If redecorating your living room means changing the plastic sofa covers.
• If your backyard consists of 1/8 grass and 7/8 tomatoes and radicchio.
• If you have more pictures of Jesus' Mother Mary on your walls than family members.
• If everyone over the age of 55 in your family is short, fat, and wears nothing but black.
• If you're visiting your grandparents at either 2 in the afternoon or 9 at night, and they interrupt you in mid-sentence because it is time for their show
• If you don't even know the names of any of your eighteen bridesmaids
• Plastic on the furniture is normal
• You've called someone a 'stunod'.